To make a good first impression

n      smile and lean toward others as they talk

n      if standing, keep your body fully facing the people you’re speaking with

n      ask questions and follow up on people’s remarks; and in doing so, focus on opinions and feelings, not just facts

n      don’t interrupt

n      compliment others

n      try to find common experiences or interests

n      mention some vulnerabilities and laugh at yourself

n      draw others out and encourage people to join the conversation

n      put energy in your voice

n      at least at the start, focus on positive comments, not criticisms or complaints

n      offer a variety of topics

n      share observations about everyday life

n      share your passions and interests

n      don’t dwell on the minutiae of your life, especially annoyances

n      remember: people give more weight to their early information (were you engaged, warm, distracted, pompous?) than to later information, so be your most charming at the beginning of the conversation

n      remember: most people are more eager to be found interesting, funny, or insightful than to be interested, amused, or informed by you